~nostalgia~

hello all.. its my bday today.. wish me if u havent do so.. lol.. abit of nostalgic n emo.. i know i'm not suppose to feel so.. but i just could not control it.. right now.. abit of emo..n happy too as i c many still remembers me.. touched with et's homebaked cake thou she was really busy working.. but once again.. i feel as thou i'm fooled again for certain stuff.. bday eve too was not a so great one as i had some argument with mom, thou dad supported me but i just dun like the stone cold feelings.. ok.. mom n i ok back after a while..

fears are circulating my thoughts.. not fear of getting old.. but fear of being redundant.. fear of loneliness too.. its been a while since i talk bout wat i feel in my blog.. i meant my emo-ness.. but i really do.. i want to write watever i like.. watever i feel to.. the feeling of being a kite.. being pull and release.. this is 2nd time where i feel this way..

*a gift from some of them*

think back.. one of my happiest bday was back in 2003.. full of clueless suprises.. mayb i was just too naive.. perhaps my yr started way too perfect.. soon i joined YE which day by day, all i hv to do was to fight for our rights.. fight with ms chee.. almost gotten 24demerits.. who really understand me.. no one else cos u r not standing on my shoe.. end of the yr.. good n bad things happened too.. from winning ye 1st runner up.. to losing in apd.. from 1st class to 2nd class.. from best ps to losing glory in a very unacceptable excuse by those asshole.. being a ps was hard to bare with.. problems seems to stick to me as if v were opposite pole.. so magnetive... abit thxful to have some1 back then to back me up.. if u happen to read tis.. thx for being there for me at any hour of the day or night thou v ended up in a quite ugly situation..

if anyone could send me "fool again" by westlife.. cos right now.. i feel so much like that song... believing something which seems to be impossible.. its like i'm trying to reach a star when my feet are stepping on the ground called the EARTH.. thx but no thx for what u've tried to do..

i'm grateful to hv family to stand for me n celeb my bday, happy to get wishessss in fb which flooded my wall.. plurk too cannot be ignore.. sms n phone calls.. but somehow when there's a thorn lied beneath my skin.. its hard for me to act i'm so damn happy...

anyway.. this is just today.. tomoro i'll b back again.. happily walking around,, cos i made myself a promise.. not to b emo continuously more than 24hours.. haha.. mood gotten better after i blabbers out wat i feel..

**thx for all the wishes..
**thx sis for the oreo cheese cake n car for tomoro..
**i'm pampering meself with 2 big gifts for myself end of this month..
**counting down for my getaway.. woot*
**yeah happy back.. ahahaha

~the getaway sunset~

from the previous post.. getting away from kl alone was a sudden idea.. its becos.. wen i sad or wat.. i need beach or somewhere with lake or watever.. alone.. tot of pulau ketam but decision changed due to the cruelty towards dogs by the people over there.. some might think i'm very shallow over that issue.. but i strongly n super disagree with their decision on dumping the poor dogs to that "island of dead" or watever they name it.. thou i had lotsa nice n happy memory there.. but i dun feel like goin pulau ketam anymore... cos of that 1 case.. anyway.. randomly i plucked in my ext hdd.. n look at our p.ketam moments..

the 5 of us ^o^ *shooting star*


i had no idea wat were v doin.. but v definitely ss-ing around


*remember this ma??* this pic was.. i set up 10sec remote snap of myself acting emo.. n so.. these 4 cheeky gals.. took over my camera.. T_T... but this pic very cute.. lol..

our shooting experience was a real nice 1.. v submitted our video to astro nextgen contest, thou v did not win anything but this is a new experience for us, to produce, direct, shoot, act, collaborate.. n most of all. v ss really alot... ^o^

back to my getaway.. sunset was still the best moment of the day.. i still prefer sunset over sunrise.. this pd trip sunset was very short compared to the 1 i'm in kampar mayb becos it was real cloudy day.. its been a long time since i use manual program in my camera.. becos the sky was too bright during sunset.. i changed my av mode to M to get a better result of sunset pics..

a pic of lil domo..

pretending as if she's a hermit crab.. lalala~


still on my mat under some unknown tree.. lying n lazying..


without filter on.. ^o^ some emo passer by.. *i assumed*


with filter.. that kid somehow looks ghostly in this pic =.=


domo waved bye bye to mr sun..


-


finally i turned on baby flash.. which was an unusual action i will take..

many scolded me for running out of my mind for going there alone.. i appreciate all the scoldings.. but this is me.. some1 who dun think as much wen her mind is clutted.. but after this pd trip.. i feel so much better.. its like again.. i buried emoness onto those beach.. i'm jus an island gal.. emo go to beach.. but this kl no beach.. T_T... sometimes i really need to close one eye n let things be wat it will be.. i hope this lately happiness will last forever but deep down i know it wont.. i jus wan2 b the shallow n ignorant IB.. can i?

**do u think wif filter pic nicer or the 1 without?
**guess wat filter i used..*mystery prize will be given to the 1st who answer correct*
**lalalala~~
**oh ya today is sunday T_T

~her getaway~

weeks ago.. well.. super duper down.. unwanted this happens.. things happen with reasons, it happened.. so many things come at once.. desperately wan2 get myself away from everything.. yeah i meant it.. did it too.. i need to get out from kl city.. work stress, something that bothers me.. which i really no eyes c.. n i did it.. i closed my eyes.. haha.. work was so bad last 2weeks.. found out something.. yeah.. truth hurts but jus accept the fact.. in plurk.. some suggested a getaway.. gosh it struck my mind.. i jus click on google.. n get a google map.. n off i go.. to port dickson.. wif 1.5l water, a book, touch n go, pump petrol, camua babea n some companion in "hero".. some might think i;m crazy.. perhaps that time i was totally out of my mind.. i jus wanted some time alone.. to somewhere no one know who the hell i am.. somewhere with breeze..

went to UTAR return some books.. then off i go.. put on my shade.. yeah...
my journey beginss... some photo to share ^o^

at seremban tourist stop by.. information booth


it was so heaty til the ground cracked..


*hero* brought me there.. i then go pray..^o^


one side of the entrance


kuan yin.. a quick snap.. then go in temple to pray


a pic wif domo somewhere around the temple ^o^

left temple.. head to somewhere.. but i dunno where.. lol.. temple was right after roundabout.. so i jus stop by.. ok.. i jus straight go n c wat can i find.. i wan nice beach... reach to a sign board stated "blue lagoon" sound nice to me.. n so.. i jus follow.. was pretty crowded.. cos it was am bank teambuilding day... feels safer too..

found a nice cozy place under a pine tree.. my companion of the day..


that was domo 1st time step on sand.. 1st time go to beach..


my view wen i look up.. mind was lost... branches.. blurness..


the kid that i played wif..

that auntie ask me y.. "amoi kenapa pucat?" lol.. i replied in a funny way.. kerana belum makan.. haha.. so.. time to leave blue lagoon n hunt for food.. but b4 that.. i did not show pics of the sea.. hehe.. there u go..

a panaroma view of the other side of blue lagoon.. was so so windy ^o^


the last picture at blue lagoon...


this is mr 9.. he used to b sad.. but now he is a happy doggy ^o^

bye blue lagoon... hi makan place..

super hungry waiting for our food... perhaps the aunty was right.. i looked pale.. zzz..
the photoshop effects i used.. make me more pale too.. wahaha

gosh today is such a happy day.. sms always make my day.. but today was slightly different.. its like encouragement sms..
*mr evilsmirk* aka md prefer my work rather than agency.. wahahaha... morning was great too.. supervisor bought me a cup of hot cocoa from starbucks.. ^o^.. cold day wif hot cocoa.. perfect match.. thankiu... thou i know u wont come across this.. hahaha.. things get better after my getaway.. i shud go pray n thx to the temple.. ermm.. i know i'm superstitious.. lalalala~~ for me goin there alone.. i know its crazy n many would have stop me if i tell this earlier.. but i jus need a getaway.. a beach.. some time to cool myself down.. n now here i am.. back wif a smile..

there's more pics to come.. i kinda like the sunset too.. thou it was short.. haha.. n the filter i used.. i like the effect... teehehehe...

**route to PD was easy.. lol.. i was on the right track all the way from pj til pd ^o^
**so long.. will update when i'm free
**pics were randomly photoshop or some left untouched.. due to laziness.. haha..
**that was my 1st try on panaroma in photoshop cs3.. haha..
**bye bye.. do miss me..

~exploring.. experimenting~

this post is a continuous post from the previous.. haha.. from my title exploring and experimenting? yeah i'm playing wif photoshop this time.. cos weeks ago was too free in office*for a while only*.. explored how to liquify nice nice.. n oso some lomo effect... n some filters n stuff.. lol..

wondermilk is oso lomography embassador.. so play la some effect on it.. teehehehe ^o^

*1st try.. forget to vignette.. =.=*
notice the bokeh of the word "lomography"??


another side of cookies...


bought home some "love".. cos desperately need it?? lol.. *green channel slightly more*


*slightly more red*...


highlight only on my cookies.. n a touch of feather... *blue channel more*

that was all i got from wondermilk.. 3weeks ago.. oh ya.. i din get any cupcakes.. cos i think its over rated and very pricey.. but.. i had them as my assignment 2 pics.. haha.. had lotsa pictures taken back then.. too bad i din manage to ss wif my cupcakes cos assignment busy giler..

the rose.. rushed to petaling street right after i reach pj back then.. crazy =.=
*this cupcake chose by member*


*oreo flavor,, dunno how it tasted,, makan by ange *assignment pic but this time different feel wif different style of psd*

thats all from wondermilk...

**lomo pics??.. nope they r not.. i'm jus exploring wif channels and picture modes.. haha
**now its 3.22am.. n i;m still here.. damn
**wats next??
**mood in not a mess.. but..
**2 newsletter for aug.. zzz
**i feel so reluctant to leave my leopea now..
**suddenly i feel like goin home pulak.. zzz
**oh yeah pretty hot now..

last pic of the day...

taken this back at tropicana right after i ss... personally i like this pic.. so i photoshop abit.. to make it suit my mood right now.. crystal which melt...

i wish and i hope...
i'm not counting down days of my internship.. cos i have some nicey nice colleagues there.. perhaps next few post will b bout our outing.. our ss pics.. n lots more..

stay tuned.. i will update my blog frequently if i rajin enuf.. malacca post, intern gang, lui's bday n some other outings.. oh yeah pet exhibition too.. ^o^

til then... byezzz.. oh now is 0330

~random number 2~

life getting more ups n downs lately.. feelings r much more so random.. thoughts and imagination ran so wild in my brain.. ppl in my life come n go.. some we din even keep in touch anymore..
n now its end of a semester.. tomoro i'm goin2 work.. kinda emo now.. the feeling now is so alone... so lonely.. sighs.. life goes on.. nervous nervous for tomoro.. wth is wrong wif me.. worry too much.. thinking back it was as if yesterday was my 1st day to uni.. where my emotion was down to the max.. stepping into a whole new world.. need to find new cliques new frens n try to adapt.. there goes the emo me... even in facebook.. quiz oso say i'm an emotional person.. but my life was not so bad n will not b bad as well.. jus around this 2 months.. gone thru lotsa different stuff.. no doubt there's 1 week in my uni life for this sem.. slightly different.. ^o^

skip all those.. let me place some random pics.. the pics that pop into my mind right now.. the moment i miss so much

i really super miss those time v shoot the video.. relax n so nice havin a bunch of gals to ss wif..


fate.. terserempak poe at hot air balloon fest.. back in apr..


ss wif sweecheng as well.. ^o^


t4 lunch wif foo mei lee n her husband.. *act cute pic*


went back cls for ocac briefing to the kids.. i ss wif kak salina.. the science lab asst that always talk to me n well let me go to school late without jotting down my name.. still love her much ^o^


during exam i get so addicted wif rc..

this pic is my character n arrows to show the dilemma she's facing >.<" then yesterday went to malacca for 1 day trip wif the gals.. it was a fun day.. light n easy.. but 4 of us were like zombies cos the night b4 neither of us sleep b4 3am.. my 3am was the earliest compare to them.. haha

the only pics 4 of us together.. sticker pics.. wahaha.. *domo-mei aka nasty kun mm song*


our pics.. the fond memories...


cos of jealousy.. kcq squeeze domo... kesian kan??

life getting rocky.. tomoro is my 1st day workin in SONY for internship.. some of u asked me wat i did for the interview.. i wonder shud i post it here.. but since today is mother's day.. i'll post it here.. the theme given was mother's day.. they asked me to think of a sony product for mothers day n make a cover for it..

basically the short tagline i wrote says it all.. thats wat i think i thats wat i did.. pink was chosen as the main cos i wan my mom to stay young n happy.. this is jus a simple design i did.. happy mother's day to all mom in the world.. especially my mother...

bye all.. gonna sleep early.. working life start.. i hope i wont turn anti social.. if i do.. can some1 pls drag me out of the might-be-comin-misery??.. wish me luck for tomoro.. need it desperately...

~RanDoMs~

the title was named.. randoms.. not random.. cos lately my life is so so random.. i can b real happy go lucky in another second.. i turn emo.. yesterday was a blast or more to worst night ever.. the dreams was so real..
1st dream.. not a dream actually... its the usual thing.. i feel i'm falling from a high place.. terjaga terus...
2nd dream i cant recall but not a fond 1...
3rd dream was the worst nightmare ever...

this is how my 3rd dream goes.. 1st me n jane was talking in my room.. love lane room to b precise.. as usual v talk alot.. suddenly v smell smoke n feel suffocated.. then open the door.. next door which dun look like love lane hse anymore.. on fire.. when v hurry n run out from there.. i saw my aunt.. using a padlock wif a huge steel chain.. locking the gate.. v beg but she showed us her evil smirk.. it was so scary... then we run to another exit.. a fren of ours.. wif her small eyes holding a key.. the padlock key.. again v ask her to open but she said.. some1 pay her to lock us here.. v said we'll pay double.. but it was too late.. jane n i.. run everywhere.. back to my room.. but window.. dun look like love lane's.. i pull n pull the window grill.. it was then opened.. i asked jane to climb down 1st.. cos i say.. still got time to save leopea n camua babea.. *the dream was so real until my laptop n camera appears* n oso pack my purple white checker.. as if it was reality.. i climb down wif leg shakin n trembling cos i'm afraid of height.. at the end of my dream.. i say thank you to mimi... cos to me it was her that saved both of us.. the dream then become so confusing wif lotsa ppl.. some1 pat my head.. gave me a cozy and warm hug but b4 i can say a word.. he walked away leaving me alone in the dark wif lotsa surrounding voice.. i'm scared... dream turns more scary which i dun really remember... then i'm awake.. at 5sumting in the morning.. awake wif my face wet..

dream was so real.. b4 i sleep.. i was chatting wif jane on how doom i am this semester.. doin badly in animation, photography 3rd assignment made me a shit.. how bad i did my papers unprepared.. n how am i suppose to make a booklet that sony will take me in as interns.. for jane.. she told me bout her upcomin examination.. both of us were so emo...

at around 6sumting i continue my booklet.. i shud not call it a booklet cos they din ask me make a book.. plurk n RC at the same time.. then i finally got a frame for my work.. but it was 12noon.. i promised myself to send it b4 2pm.. but.. i sent it around 215pm.. feel abit loose after press "send"...

there's so many randomness in me.. n yes.. i did promise myself not to post any non-pictorial post in this blog.. miss ib now would like to post some random shots..

this pic edited alot.. cropped, desaturate it and add some clouds effect cos tangerine feel my pain this morning.. she too becomes emo..


later then miss ib too lazy to edit pics.. tangerine look happy in this pic.. afterall life wasn't so bad with miss ib as her "mom" since 2002..


tangerine enjoy the rain.. thou it was just awhile.. but better than nothing..

besides tangerine.. another random pic i will post is.. my story book.. this book is good.. with romance wif thrills.. at least its not just about feeling.. i've finish it.. anyway this book is not recommended for shallow minded ppl.. awww.. this book drives me crazy til i neglected my boring notes..

n yes.. borrowed from UTAR..


n my bookmark is my tiny lil "colorful notation" bookmark.. *assignment leftover*

another set of super old pics.. for my assignment.. one of the noisiest assignment ever.. err not that v fight.. its a norm.. it was fun to make the studio more lively.. n abit wet cos i cant control the water spill... v clean after snap... lalalala~~

clearly stated of who did wat.. this was for my assignment which at the end i got no time to do it.. but now i edit for fun..
the color is complimentary wif the ball in the wine glass.. personally i like the purple lighting wif yellow ball most.. but i like them all.. they r my pics... mine.. O.o yeah mine.. haha...

at the end of today.. i finally have my emoness level reduced by 50%... cos around 6pm.. i receive a call.. from sony... they r offering me to work as intern.. they like the work i did for them*the work remain in my leopea, will not post it here*... i'm so glad n extremely happy.. during the call.. i feel my heart beating at very fast pace.. cos the call was not in good reception..

my last random picture will b emo pic of mr lucky.. aka love of miss ib life.. i realize he neva appear here b4.. how can my boy neva get to appear in my blog.. as i'm gonna start workin real soon.. i wont get to go back hometown so often or long.. will miss every1 at home n same goes.. they will miss me too..

this is my boy.. emo-ing on my bed.. awww...

**tonight i hope there will be no nightmares..
**tomoro i hope for the best.. my offer letter n dealing wif utar too..
**will not study for pengajian malaysia.. better try read history
**i feel so random now.. still.. random...
**i got so much pics to post... but.. i post the randoms....
**kill my lazy worm n start study n post my blog wif pics...
**bye... yeah i know this is another long winded post of mine.. as usual...