~nostalgia~

hello all.. its my bday today.. wish me if u havent do so.. lol.. abit of nostalgic n emo.. i know i'm not suppose to feel so.. but i just could not control it.. right now.. abit of emo..n happy too as i c many still remembers me.. touched with et's homebaked cake thou she was really busy working.. but once again.. i feel as thou i'm fooled again for certain stuff.. bday eve too was not a so great one as i had some argument with mom, thou dad supported me but i just dun like the stone cold feelings.. ok.. mom n i ok back after a while..

fears are circulating my thoughts.. not fear of getting old.. but fear of being redundant.. fear of loneliness too.. its been a while since i talk bout wat i feel in my blog.. i meant my emo-ness.. but i really do.. i want to write watever i like.. watever i feel to.. the feeling of being a kite.. being pull and release.. this is 2nd time where i feel this way..

*a gift from some of them*

think back.. one of my happiest bday was back in 2003.. full of clueless suprises.. mayb i was just too naive.. perhaps my yr started way too perfect.. soon i joined YE which day by day, all i hv to do was to fight for our rights.. fight with ms chee.. almost gotten 24demerits.. who really understand me.. no one else cos u r not standing on my shoe.. end of the yr.. good n bad things happened too.. from winning ye 1st runner up.. to losing in apd.. from 1st class to 2nd class.. from best ps to losing glory in a very unacceptable excuse by those asshole.. being a ps was hard to bare with.. problems seems to stick to me as if v were opposite pole.. so magnetive... abit thxful to have some1 back then to back me up.. if u happen to read tis.. thx for being there for me at any hour of the day or night thou v ended up in a quite ugly situation..

if anyone could send me "fool again" by westlife.. cos right now.. i feel so much like that song... believing something which seems to be impossible.. its like i'm trying to reach a star when my feet are stepping on the ground called the EARTH.. thx but no thx for what u've tried to do..

i'm grateful to hv family to stand for me n celeb my bday, happy to get wishessss in fb which flooded my wall.. plurk too cannot be ignore.. sms n phone calls.. but somehow when there's a thorn lied beneath my skin.. its hard for me to act i'm so damn happy...

anyway.. this is just today.. tomoro i'll b back again.. happily walking around,, cos i made myself a promise.. not to b emo continuously more than 24hours.. haha.. mood gotten better after i blabbers out wat i feel..

**thx for all the wishes..
**thx sis for the oreo cheese cake n car for tomoro..
**i'm pampering meself with 2 big gifts for myself end of this month..
**counting down for my getaway.. woot*
**yeah happy back.. ahahaha

~concurrent~

been a long time since i left this blog.. giving myself piles of reason for not blogging.. busy?? perhaps i was... outings outings n outings.. which dug a huge hole in my pocket.. dried up.. came back to pj.. but was very very disappointed.. router is now in koma i guess.. which mean v need to rotate to on9 again.. so much of mixed feelings each time i'm back in pj.. suprisingly.. to some1 who always say i sleep like a pig in bus.. today i did not.. wahaha.. clean my lil room.. bout 3 hours of wiping, mopping, rubbing, cleaning n washing.. yet my floor still occupied by luggage..

i feel abit regret for not comin back tomoro morning.. cos at least in penang i can hug lucky n wi fi anywhere i like.. life seems to be lifeless when i'm not connected to the net.. at this moment.. i feel sad that hero did not come back wif me.. well so do kigo wong.. but at least purple white checkers is wif me.. accompanying me in my lil room as always...

so much of feelings lately.. angry, disappointed, regret, happy, touched, dis-satisfactions, excited.. i have it all... to certain extend i really hate to help jus any1 right now.. i hate promises... please dun promise me anything nor ask me to promise anything.. get the hack off my sight.. besides that helping ppl dun seems right anymore.. ppl will jus take u for granted.. this apply to the volunteery work i did 2 weeks ago which v did not appreciated by ppl around but was ordered to do this n dat.. carry the most oily n heavy kuih kak in the world.. and lastly most important.. they din even say the word "thank you".. no next time to volunteer for any chinese society stuff cos i've gone thru it a few times.. the outcome is still the same.. disappointing..

my emotion gets tighter everytime i cannot on9 all the time i like.. its like rotating the line.. yeah i feel much very pathetic but still v hv to do so.. y cant the router let me stay happily for a few more months.. oh yeah tv is now not even a radio.. i got a bad feeling of all these negative incidents.. gosh feel like running away again... where shud i go.?? emotion at this moment is very weak.. yeah the swinging mood is back.. i'm not having PMS cos just had it last week.. i jus dun like the feeling being stop from doin wat i wan and not getting wat i wan.. erm wat am i writing here.. zzz.. things been floating n surrounding.. the bad n the good.. one more week for me to noon nap.. n there i go.. having everyday life walking to utar.. rush assignments and emo as usual..

thinking of the lil pups.. there's only one word to describe my feeling.. **pissed**.. oh well god bless the puppies pls..
i guess i shud post the pups pic here..

lil goldie

every stretch makes a few inches


the yin n yang


yaya n her babies


i feel>>T__T.. sigh *personal feeling*




the 5 of them.. i jus cant snap a nice 1 as they keep moving away

dear puppies.. may god bless u and may u lead a happy life like ur parents did.. remember me.. i love u...

**up next:
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anyway still feels damn mm song.. thats all.. bye..

the line is now officially chopped..

~the smile on her face~

the smile of her face.. sounds like ronan's when u say nothing at all chorus... lalala~~ all the previous post.. pics were taken by me.. or most of it were taken by me.. this time.. i'm inside all of the pics.. n of cos pictures taken by others... these are few candids which enlighten my day for now.. not in good condition.. err.. not very bad.. but work not as smooth as i wish to..

today is a better day.. at least i get to do wat i like which is creating icons.. i wont say much of my work here.. oh ya mood real nice now.. cos i had fantastic lunch wif 2 colleagues, dinner of my own cook.. my soup very very nice this time.. haha.. finish retouching those icons n sent to supervisor dee..stealing some time of my sleep to blog here.. the pics i saw was yesterday in facebook which made my bad day to a nice 1.. yesterday was really not my day.. T_T... but those pic had eventually enlighten me..

these r some of them from the album

this is the pic i like most... i neva see this b4 til yesterday... some1 stalked me... hahaha... n yeah her description of this pic is a nice 1 too..

this is how it goes>>"I like this pic d most.... Despite all the challenges she's facing....Cmei is smiling happily looking at her 'Fung che'...the smile on her face says it all!"
thx "mum" i appreciate u spending time n "watch" over me during my hardtime.. *muakkzzz*

the 1 i know she snap.. haha...

another 1 which i dunno she snapped.. haha...*uncountable stalked picsss*

this was snapped by kayc last week during cher bday..

an antique pic of us smiling.. y1s2.. my turn to present global warming.. the smile on our face in this pic.. was priceless.. jus look at 3 of us...

wahahaha.. i couldn't credit any1 for this pic cos i dun know who is the photographer..

happy times past us real fast... sometimes i wonder am i still a happy-go-lucky person or an emo person.. can any1 tell me?? am i a happy or emo person??,,, sigh... gotta sleep now.. tomoro work againnn... T_T

at jalan hang tuah... our 1 day trip to malacca.. time to go back... **pic taken in cher's car**
a pic to represents my mind at this moment...

reasons i post this up:
**cos of the 1st pic in this blog
**cos i havent filter my picssss from "down the memory lane, malacca.... bla bla bla... lotsa them"
**cos i feel loved wen i c natural smile..
**cos i feel extremely stress wen things went rocky
**cos i've been working n no time to edit pics..
**cos,,, cos i love all my frens... all my readers.. so i have to update this spider-web-ed blog.. hahaha