~nostalgia~

hello all.. its my bday today.. wish me if u havent do so.. lol.. abit of nostalgic n emo.. i know i'm not suppose to feel so.. but i just could not control it.. right now.. abit of emo..n happy too as i c many still remembers me.. touched with et's homebaked cake thou she was really busy working.. but once again.. i feel as thou i'm fooled again for certain stuff.. bday eve too was not a so great one as i had some argument with mom, thou dad supported me but i just dun like the stone cold feelings.. ok.. mom n i ok back after a while..

fears are circulating my thoughts.. not fear of getting old.. but fear of being redundant.. fear of loneliness too.. its been a while since i talk bout wat i feel in my blog.. i meant my emo-ness.. but i really do.. i want to write watever i like.. watever i feel to.. the feeling of being a kite.. being pull and release.. this is 2nd time where i feel this way..

*a gift from some of them*

think back.. one of my happiest bday was back in 2003.. full of clueless suprises.. mayb i was just too naive.. perhaps my yr started way too perfect.. soon i joined YE which day by day, all i hv to do was to fight for our rights.. fight with ms chee.. almost gotten 24demerits.. who really understand me.. no one else cos u r not standing on my shoe.. end of the yr.. good n bad things happened too.. from winning ye 1st runner up.. to losing in apd.. from 1st class to 2nd class.. from best ps to losing glory in a very unacceptable excuse by those asshole.. being a ps was hard to bare with.. problems seems to stick to me as if v were opposite pole.. so magnetive... abit thxful to have some1 back then to back me up.. if u happen to read tis.. thx for being there for me at any hour of the day or night thou v ended up in a quite ugly situation..

if anyone could send me "fool again" by westlife.. cos right now.. i feel so much like that song... believing something which seems to be impossible.. its like i'm trying to reach a star when my feet are stepping on the ground called the EARTH.. thx but no thx for what u've tried to do..

i'm grateful to hv family to stand for me n celeb my bday, happy to get wishessss in fb which flooded my wall.. plurk too cannot be ignore.. sms n phone calls.. but somehow when there's a thorn lied beneath my skin.. its hard for me to act i'm so damn happy...

anyway.. this is just today.. tomoro i'll b back again.. happily walking around,, cos i made myself a promise.. not to b emo continuously more than 24hours.. haha.. mood gotten better after i blabbers out wat i feel..

**thx for all the wishes..
**thx sis for the oreo cheese cake n car for tomoro..
**i'm pampering meself with 2 big gifts for myself end of this month..
**counting down for my getaway.. woot*
**yeah happy back.. ahahaha